It’s Valentine’s Day, and you probably have your Valentine’s Day card ready to go and are looking for some funny Valentine’s Day jokes to make your other half laugh out loud. Well, you came to the right place. The following 53 one-line jokes are some of the best Valentine’s jokes! Enjoy and use them sparingly.
Here’s a list of 53 Valentine’s Day jokes sure to bring a smile to all your funny Valentines:
- What did one volcano say to the other? “I lava you!”
- Why do skunks love Valentine’s Day? Because they’re scent-imental creatures!
- What did the stamp say to the envelope on Valentine’s Day? “I’m stuck on you!”
- How did the phone propose to his girlfriend? He gave her a ring.
- What do farmers give their wives on Valentine’s Day? Hogs and kisses!
- Why did the banana go out with the prune? Because it couldn’t find a date.
- Why did the boy put candy under his pillow? Because he wanted sweet dreams!
- What did the paper clip say to the magnet? “I find you very attractive.”
- Why did the lion break up with his girlfriend? Because she was a cheetah!
- What did the light bulb say to the switch? “You turn me on.”
- What do you call two birds in love? Tweethearts!
- Why did the drum take his girlfriend to the music? Because he couldn’t beat her.
- What do you call a very small valentine? A valentiny!
- What did the boy owl say to the girl owl on Valentine’s Day? “Owl be yours!”
- What did one sheep say to the other? “I love ewe!”
- What did the painter say to his girlfriend? “I love you with all my art.”
- What did the chocolate syrup say to the ice cream? “I’m sweet on you.”
- What did the calculator say to the pencil? “You can count on me.”
- Why do squirrels love Valentine’s Day? Because they’re nuts about it!
- What did the cat say on Valentine’s Day? “You’re purr-fect for me.”
- What did the bat say to his girlfriend? “You’re fun to hang around with.”
- Why don’t oysters share their pearls? Because they’re shellfish lovers!
- What do you call a ghost’s true love? His ghoul-friend.
- Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired of being alone!
- What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus? “Can I hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand?”
- What did one bee say to the other? “I love bee-ing with you!”
- What do you write in a slug’s Valentine’s Day card? “Be my Valen-slime!”
- How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend? “He gave her a ring.”
- What did the French chef give his wife for Valentine’s Day? “A hug and a quiche!”
- Why did the girl put candy under her pillow? “Because she wanted sweet dreams.”
- What did one watermelon say to the other? “You’re one in a melon!”
- Why did the boy put clothes on the Valentine’s chocolates? “He heard they were choco-late.”
- What kind of flowers do you never give on Valentine’s Day? Cauliflowers!
- What did the boy bird say to the girl bird? “Let me call you Tweet-heart!”
- What did the elephant say to his girlfriend? “I love you a ton!”
- What did the magnet say to the steel? “I find you very attractive.”
- What did the rabbit say to his girlfriend? “Somebunny loves you!”
- What did the pencil say to the paper? “I dot my i’s on you!”
- What did the boy pickle say to the girl pickle? “You mean a great dill to me.”
- What did one oar say to the other? “Can I interest you in a little row-mance?”
- Why did the pig give his girlfriend a box of candy? “It was Valenswine’s Day!”
- What did the boy sheep say to the girl sheep? “Will you be my Valen-ewe?”
- What did one light bulb say to the other? “I love you a watt!”
- What did the farmer give his wife on Valentine’s Day? “Hogs and kisses.”
- What did the drum say to the other instruments on Valentine’s Day? “My heart beats for you.”
- What did the boy cat say to the girl cat on Valentine’s Day? “You’re purr-fect for me.”
- What did the cucumber say to the pickle? “You mean a great dill to me.”
Irish Valentine’s Day jokes
- What did the potato say to his sweetheart? “I only have eyes for you!”
- What did the shamrock say to the four-leaf clover? “I’m so lucky I found you.”
- What did the teabag say to the kettle? “I’m steeped in love with you.”
- What do you call a leprechaun’s girlfriend? His lucky charm.
- What did the pint of Guinness say to the drinker? “I’d wait two minutes for you any day.”
- What did the Irish dancer write in her Valentine’s card? “I’m head over heels, but my arms are staying by my sides.”
Want more? Try our Irish jokes and Irish one-liners.
Yes, I know these are cheesy, but I guarantee these Valentine’s Day jokes made you laugh out loud at least once. They certainly did with me. Be sure to share with your partner. And if you’re struggling to find Valentine’s Day wishes, read this post.
Love this? Save it to your Pinterest board for later.
A little bit of Ireland in your inbox every Friday ☘️
The free Weekly Dose of Irish: an Irish joke, a Celtic symbol, an Irish fact, a poem and the week’s best articles in one short email. Join 9,600+ readers.
Free. One short email every Friday. Unsubscribe any time.